Weirdest Hinge Date So Far
Dear Diary,
Biiiiiiitch. I’ve been kinda bored lately so that means I’ve been swiping on Hinge. I matched with this kid (24) and he seemed “normal”; he’s in grad school, working, whatever. We texted for a few weeks and he asked me if I was around to chill and smoke so I said yes (obviously). So I get to his place and from the start I knew it was a wrap. He attempted to open the door - I say attempted because he had so much shit piled behind the door, he couldn’t open it all the way. So my fat ass squeezes by him and the door like “heyyy”. I then follow him down his dark ass hallway, past the living room and into his dark ass bedroom. In the bedroom was a black chair in front of a big ass tv, his bed, unmade with one sheet, and a big ass dresser. He’s like “you can sit on my bed”….im like ew no (not actually) but ok and I sit.
Side bar: I CANNOT stand outside clothes on the bed so when he said that, I knew we could never be together.
He sits in the black chair, a basketball game is on, and he’s like “can you roll up, I don’t know how”. (internal eyeroll) “sure”. So I’m doing my thing and he starts making conversation with me without looking away from the basketball game. So he’s just looking forward and I’m rolling up looking at him like………it was the weirdest thing. So we smoked a joint and I’m sitting there, essentially watching him watch this game. And we were watching the game somehow through his video game PS4 thing (idk) when all of a sudden, I think his foot touched the controller and the screen changed - when I tell you I my jaw dropped, omg. He was looking at his phone and didn’t realize at first, but his porn, that he probably watched before I got there, was allllll over his big ass tv screen. Probably 30 different videos titled “anal play” “russian girls” allllthatshit. You cannot make this shit up. Finally he fucking notices, fumbles for the controller and goes “what happened to game? what’s going on? how did this…is this spam?”. I looked at him like bitch what? (internal eyeroll). I didn’t say anything lol.
THEN he thinks the porn is completely off the screen and finally asks me if I want anything to drink - “yah, water please”. He walks out of the room and I look up at the screen and see his porn, like as a preview for the next screen…..so obviously I take a picture because no one was gonna believe this (see pic below). THEN he walks back into the room and hands me…………a used Starbucks cup……..a grande……. paper cup……… with the sleeve still on it. I looked at him, grabbed the cup (it smelt like coffee) I put it down and said “I’m going home, I’m ordering an Uber”.
I don’t know what took me so long to leave it was like the 3rd quarter.
do ya’ll see how dark it was in there lmao